just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
