i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize