I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
