I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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