doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
