what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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