Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
