Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
