For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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