Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
