The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
