worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
