If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
His nipple licking is glorious
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