We named our party play list daddy issues
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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