Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
