yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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