she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
