so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
