Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
