Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
