this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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