the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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