just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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