im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
