I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
