Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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