We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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