i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
