I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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