Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
