Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
