why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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