So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
