i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize