is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
