I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
