Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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