i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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