remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The adults are the big ones right?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
