My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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