i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
