i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize