I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
