just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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