she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
