You smell like stripper and shame
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
