What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
