hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
