So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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