listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
