I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
