Fuck appropriateness.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
