I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
