Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
