I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
