I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
