I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
how does that bad decision feel?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
