I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
