I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
