so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
