Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she looked like the before picture.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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