If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
