I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
