his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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