I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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