okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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