in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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