She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
