first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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